A list of 50 things Andrew Cuomo has ‘gotten done’

However you feel about it, Andrew Cuomo is still the solid frontrunner in the Democratic mayoral primary. 

Beyond basic name recognition and many vague memories of his peak COVID press conferences, supporters of the disgraced former governor like to tout his long track record of “getting things done,” often by any means necessary. 

To wit: earlier this week, Citizens Union announced Cuomo as on of their three preferred candidates for mayor, writing in their press release that he “has a proven ability to push big projects across the finish line.” The wording of the endorsement also acknowledged (but ultimately looked past) “serious ethical stains” and “misuse of power.”

He said it himself during last night’s debate: “I know how to get things done. Not just plans, plans, plans.” 

And really, it’s true enough! Whether you’re brushing up yourself or want something handy to send to that person in your life who a) doesn’t know who any of the other candidates are and doesn’t care b) just really likes the memory of Andrew’s dad Mario, let’s take a whirlwind trip down memory lane with a look at 50 standout items from the younger Cuomo’s extensive track record in public life:

1. Sexually harassed 13 different women who worked for New York State, according to Department of Justice findings.
2. Has so far used at least $19 million of taxpayer funds in his legal battle against his accusers, including, in one case, subpoenaing their gynecologist records.
3. Created a fake party dedicated to women’s equality merely to have a ballot line that looked like the Working Families Party, then cast it aside when it was no longer useful.
4. During the height of the pandemic, issued an order that experts say almost certainly led to a significant spike in nursing home deaths; proceeded to cover up said nursing home deaths.
5. Kept a COVID vaccination site from opening at Citi Field over a grudge he held against former Mayor Bill de Blasio.
6. Told people worried about not being able to work during COVID lockdown to “take a job as an essential worker.” 
7. Was the reason for Cuomo sandwiches during the pandemic, a waste of food and a great moment of hygiene theater. 
8. Made staffers spend hundreds of hours working on his book about “pandemic leadership,” for which he received a $5.2 million book deal, during a stretch of 2020 when New Yorkers were still dying in droves daily.
9. Had promotion and printing of said book abruptly halted by his publisher amid a growing wave of scandals.
10. Produced and sold these insane posters about his supposed victory over the COVID-19 pandemic.
11. Actively supported the Independent Democratic Conference to help Republicans maintain a chokehold over state politics in the 2010s.
12. Claims to have passed the Reproductive Health Act, which enshrined Roe v. Wade in state law, but the bill didn’t actually pass until the Cuomo-backed IDC was out of power and Democrats recaptured the State Senate in 2018.
13. Used ChatGPT to write his current housing platform.
14. Is currently taking millions of dollars from Trump donors and corporations with explicit policy goals they’re trying to accomplish here.
15. Is also taking millions from the very worst of moneyed tech and real estate interests, and from the evil billionaire class at large.
16. Specifically and recently: Accepted $1 million from DoorDash.
17. Previously shut down an anti-corruption investigation when it got too close to his donors.
18. Calls Trump “boss” on private phone calls.
19. Once suggested putting Elon Musk in charge of resignaling the subway
20. Also steered a billion dollars in subsidies to a Musk-owned company that ended up creating a paltry number of in-state jobs.
21. During his time at HUD, he allegedly let corrupt developers bilk a loan program. 
22. Drove New York City Transit President Andy Byford out of the city just as he was making real improvements in our beleaguered transit system.
23. Oversaw the construction of Moynihan Hall, whose architect Michael Evans tragically died by suicide “After being terrorized by Gov. Andrew Cuomo,” according to Evans’ longtime partner.
24. While the MTA was crumbling, blew $106 million of taxpayer dollars on an attempt at using state bridges to put on a light show, based on vague claims it would boost tourism.
25. Cut pension benefits for public-sector workers and is now campaigning on undoing the cuts that he himself implemented.
26. Opposed letting New York City set its own minimum wage and is now campaigning on raising the minimum wage in New York City.
27. Cast himself as a champion of reforming the state’s bail laws and then immediately started trying to roll back the reforms.
28. While he passed congestion pricing as governor, he did nothing to try to get it through the federal approval process, and then said the state shouldn’t actually start it.
29. Says he can’t think of a single thing he’s changed his mind on ever. 
30. Stole FDR’s old Packard from the New York State Museum so he could drive it around to photo opps and cosplay as a leader people actually loved.
31. Does the same weird thing his dad did where he has ascribed a bunch of folksy quotes to a fake guy named AJ Parkinson.
32. During the 2018 election, sent mailers accusing Cynthia Nixon, married to a Jew and raising Jewish children, of being explicitly anti-Semitic.
33. Once went to a Black church and declared that it was a well-known stereotype that Jews can’t dance.
34. Once when asked very real questions about induced demand and clogged-up traffic on the Kosciuszko Bridge, put on an exaggerated Italian accent to insist it wasn’t real.
35. Speculated about the logistics of fucking an airport.
36. Fumbled the legal weed roll out, leading to a lack of available licenses and a boom in unregulated grey-market stores. 
37. Made a deeply weird joke about #metoo to a room full of reporters. 
38. Repeatedly asked a radio host out on a date during an interview.
39. Appeared on Bari Weiss’s podcast. 
40. Gave an insane, vaguely sexist answer to a simple “what is your bagel order” question. 
41. Said his favorite “New York City movie” is the television show Seinfeld.
42. Ran a red light to avoid talking to reporters, just last week! 
43.  Got fined $1.3 million for breaking the law, just this month! 
44. Claimed during last night’s debate the city “defunded the police,” a thing that has never happened. 
45. Was stripped of his Emmy award, which means he’s less accomplished than The Morning Show.
46. Played a large part in the public-facing rise of Chris Cuomo. 
47. Avoided living or voting in New York City for the better part of the past four decades.
48. Said that if he had been able to vote in the city’s last mayoral election, he would have voted for Eric Adams.
49. May or may not be running this entire campaign as an ill-conceived tee-up for a 2028 presidential run.
50. Like Adams, has potential plans to run as an independent in November’s general election, opening up a lane for the words “Mayor Curtis Sliwa” to become a reality.

This is of course only a small snapshot of Andrew Cuomo’s track record of “accomplishments” over the years — hit us in the comments with anything we missed. And be ready for when early voting kicks off on June 14, or Election Day proper on June 24. You know what to do.